


Almost

by Kika988



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: But we all know Keith loves Shiro, M/M, Mild Angst, ambiguous ending, pining shiro, so the ambiguity is more of a technicality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kika988/pseuds/Kika988
Summary: There's been three times that Shiro has almost crossed that invisible line between them. Three distinct moments, and he remembers each of them with the sort of clarity solely reserved for memories that ring through the years with an aching pang of regret.





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the prompt "almost". It was meant to be a cc response but I got a little carried away and it wouldn't fit, so you're getting it here instead! This is completely unedited and unbeta'd, so please forgive any mistakes, though hopefully I'll come back and fix them later!

There's been three times that Shiro has almost crossed that invisible line between them. Three distinct moments, and he remembers each of them with the sort of clarity solely reserved for memories that ring through the years with an aching pang of regret. 

The first was after they'd been saved from that planet the two of them had been stranded on. He'd genuinely thought he was going to die there, but despite that fear he'd never forget the surge of astonishment and pride when Keith had arrived in Black, saving Shiro's life. He'd known then what he'd suspected before -- Keith was meant to pilot Black, meant to lead Voltron. Maybe not right then, but soon. He could see the man Keith would become as plain as day, and he could see that Keith wasn't the kid he'd met years before. The difference was enough to take Shiro's breath away. 

Hours later, when Shiro had stumbled out of the healing pod and Keith had reached out to steady him, effortlessly taking his weight, Shiro almost said it. Almost blurted out, "I think I might be falling in love with you." Instead he settled for "You're here." 

Keith had smiled and replied with "Of course," as if there had never been any question. Maybe there hadn't been. 

The second time, Shiro was dead. 

It's still weird to think about his time in Black's consciousness that way, but that doesn't make it any less true. He'd been there for months by then, but time passed oddly there. He couldn't sleep, couldn't exercise or read books or do _anything_ to pass the time -- he was just there, waiting, every second feeling as if it stretched into eternity. Sometimes he could work up the strength to peer out through Black's eyes into the real world, but that was taxing on both of them, so he didn't do it as often as he'd like. 

He'd begun to wonder if he'd go mad there, if left long enough, when Keith had arrived in a blaze of confusion and fear and sheer, white-knuckled determination. 

Shiro knew Keith couldn't stay long, could feel it in the thrumming way Black worried in the back of his mind. He tried to explain what was happening as well as he could, tried to say anything he thought might help Keith. 

And then, at the end, he almost said something else. Almost said "I don't know if I'll see you again, so I need you to know I loved you. I still do. I always will, even if I'm not around to tell you." 

He stopped himself, because it was selfish. If this was the end for him, he didn't need to leave that weight on Keith's shoulders. And so he let him go, and instead poured all that love into helping Keith pilot black, clasping his fingers over Keith's on the controls and giving it everything he had, not knowing if that meant it would burn up everything left of him. 

He should have known Keith would never let that happen. 

The third time is the most recent, and the hardest to think about. It's blood and fire and awe, fear and heartbreak and helpless, useless fury as Voltron flies into the upper atmosphere. 

It's the surge of pride at the man Keith had become when Shiro heard "it's been an honor flying with you all," over the Atlas' staticky connection to the paladins' comms. 

Shiro almost said it, in those last desperate seconds, was ready to tell Keith he loved him right there on the Atlas bridge, not caring who heard. There was no logic in it, no hoping that somehow saying it might compel Keith to survive; there was just the sound of his own heart breaking in his chest at the knowledge that Keith might die without knowing how much he meant to Shiro. It was unthinkable -- and as the flash of light filled the sky, it was also too late. 

Shiro had never felt the sort of despair he felt wash over him as he watched the lions plummet to the ground, not even in the aftermath of his own death.

Somehow that hadn't been the end. Somehow he has another chance, and he isn't planning on wasting it. Shiro's been watching over Keith in his hospital bed for a week now, a week of crying, hoping, pleading, and resigned waiting. A week that has given him way too much time to think about how _almost_ telling Keith all those times wouldn't have meant a damn thing if he had died in that terrifying free-fall to Earth. 

It's what gives him the courage to say exactly what Keith needs to hear when he wakes up, aching and confused and more than a little scared of what he might be waking up to.

"You're at the Garrison, and you're going to be okay. The other paladins are all alive and recovering, and your mom is safe and on her way here now. And Keith, I love you. I'm so sorry I never told you before, but I need you to know. I love you so, so much."

**Author's Note:**

> Want to send me a prompt that has the possibility of turning into something way longer than intended like this one did? Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/B1ackPa1adins)!


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